Tracy Morgan Has Obama's Birth Certificate

See minute 1:00 of the clip.

The Daily Show - Tracy Morgan
Tags: Daily Show Full Episodes,Political Humor & Satire Blog,The Daily Show on Facebook

AND GO SEE THAT BOY, DONALD!

Not Even If It's Charity

I'm reading a book called Where We Know: New Orleans as Home. It was a gift from three creatively maladjusted friends, who also happen to be three of our great literary citizens: Sam, G Bitch, and MF.

An essay in the book written by Eve Troeh contains what is definitely the quote of the day. Troeh recalls the story told to her by a family rescued from the Superdome and bussed to Arkansas:

"God bless them I know they were trying to be nice, but you do not put hot dogs in gumbo, even if it's just charity."

Here's an Idea for Improving Student Test Scores

$150 million for improving accountability measures?

If Louisiana is selected by the U.S. Department of Education for the grants, about half the money would be distributed to districts to help with programs aimed at helping the poorest performing schools improve their rankings and student test results. Stronger accountability measures and teacher evaluations would be part of the process. [T-P, 1-9-2010]

I'm all for accountability, but here's an idear: How about spending the money on mental health services and more special education resources like more individualized supports, speech-language therapy, occupational therapy or on-campus health clinics or supports for parents to help their kids do better in school -- you know, all of the things that research has actually shown to help kids perform better in school.

The Tebo on CNN. Gotta Lurve the TEBO!!

But What Do the Parents Think?

I was heartened to read the headline "New Poll Shows N.O. Voters Like Changes in City's School System" this morning. I was even more pleased to read in the article:

The group says 74 percent of those polled said they hope leaders continue with the changes they've made in the school system.(T-P 8/27/09)

I really do hate to piss in anyone's cornflakes, especially since hope and satisfaction are rare in this town, and the opinion of voters DO reflect some truth, but this was not a survey of parents with children in these schools. So really, this is nice to know, but it's hardly solid evidence of how good our schools are.

That's when I wondered whether a survey of parents of schoolchildren would produce similar numbers. I went to the LA Dept. of Education website which has a plethora of performance data, but it's all test scores, and technology surveys, and every "accountability" measure you could think of -- except parent and student satisfaction surveys. At least not that I could find. Just to be sure, I called the Division of Standards, Assessments, and Accountability in Baton Rouge and asked the nice lady who answered if she knew of any state evaluations of parent and student satisfaction with their schools. She said not that she knew of.

That was by no means a thorough investigation (I do have a day job, people), but enough to indicate to me that this very important piece of information -- what the parents and students experiencing the changes in our schools think of them -- either doesn't exist or is nowhere as easy to find as LEAP scores and graduation rates.

I'm hoping someone tells me that I'm wrong and points me in the right direction.

This Is So Kickass!

Welllll, welcome to da struggle, Louisiana

One state official believes the case the first of its kind in Louisiana

A gay New Orleans couple has filed a lawsuit claiming their constitutional rights were violated when they were denied a marriage license

.

Dear Gov. Jindal, Do The Right Thing

Dear Governor Jindal,

I was so pleased to hear that you understand and are concerned about the link between dropping out of school and ending up in prison, and that you would like to address these problems.

Every year 14,000 high school students drop out of school. Every year we lock up about 14,000 people in our prisons. I don't think that's a coincidence. -Gov. Bobby Jindal on his initiatives to reduce Louisiana's dropout and recidivism rates. [Times Picayune, 1/4/09, p. A-13]

I was not so pleased to read on the very same newspaper page your plans to stave off a projected $341 million budget shortfall by delaying the opening of a mental health crisis center in New Orleans and by canceling plans to add 6 inpatient beds to the N.O. Adolescent Hospital. You should be aware that a recent study shows that children in LA impacted by Hurricane Katrina currently suffer from physical and mental health problems at rates double that of homeless children in New York City.

NY Times 12/5/08:
...41 percent under age 4 had iron-deficiency anemia -- twice the rate for children in New York City's homeless shelters. Anemia, often attributable to poor nutrition, is associated with developmental problems and academic underachievement.

More than half of those ages 6 to 11 had a behavior or learning problem, yet in the East Baton Rouge School District children can wait for as long as two years to be tested for learning disabilities.

...many of the children of Hurricane Katrina are behind in school, acting out and suffering from extraordinarily high rates of illness and mental health problems. Their parents, many still anxious or depressed themselves, are struggling to keep the lights on and the refrigerator stocked.

Governor, these are the children most likely to not finish high school and then end up in jail, and these are the very children that your budget cuts will hurt most. I think that the Obama administration and Congress would be hard-pressed to hand over $450 million for a new Charity hospital to a state that won't even spend $4.25 million to address the dire needs of its own citizens, needs which should have been addressed 3 years ago now.

Show us that you care about your citizens. Let us know whether a man of God would choose $385,040 in pay raises for 6 Cabinet members already making six figures a year over thousands of families who have nowhere else but you to turn to for survival. Six psychiatric inpatient beds at NOAH will cost $250,000.

Governor Jindal, do the right thing this time.

JoAnn Taylor, Poster Child for Misdirected Outrage

Instead of being outraged about people being murdered in front of her own home, JoAnn Taylor is mad about her neighbor's memorial to her slain son. Other neighbors like it. Her artwork has even opened the door for youngsters in the neighborhood to deal with their grief over their own murdered loved ones.

It's easy to get ticked off by the absurd aspects of Ms. Taylor's stupid vendetta: the fact that she moved there years after the sidewalk and home were already creatively painted (or so said the grieving mother today on WWL) or that Ms. Taylor's real problem is her own issues with her neighbor's "lifestyle." The Times Picayune website already has tons of comments about this story, most of which I actually agree with for once; but this one best articulated to where Ms. Taylor and all of us should really be directing our outrage [a little background: the city is threatening to fine the woman $100 per day until she paints the sidewalk gray]:

How about we fine Ray Nagin and Warren Riley $100 a day until they can get the murders under control?

Why not fine the Public Works Department $100 for all the damage done to our vehicles by some of the worst roads in the Western Hemisphere?

Driving around town, a visitor could easily mistake our infrastructure for that of Port-au-Prince.

This woman has filled the vacuum of lawlessness in this city with something of her own creation. Those complaining about the liberties she has taken with public property are under the delusion that this is still a place of law.

Amen, Hallelujah, and Thank You Jesus to that.

This One's For You

I cannot imagine how difficult it must be for Barack Obama to have lost his rock, his Grandma "Toot" hours before possibly becoming President. It was comforting, however, to hear that she was able to cast her vote for him before passing away. I really cannot fathom how even the most ardent Republican supporter could begrudge him his need to suspend his campaign to go see her, or how any human could turn this enormously personal, painful trial into an ugly political talking point. But they have [see minute 0:00 to 1:00 of this video].



And it didn't stop with this heartless bastard. Friday, I heard Rush Limbaugh, who suspected something sinister and secretive lay underneath Obama's emergency flight to Hawaii from the very beginning, say the following [Go to minute 4:45], basically that the ill grandmother story was all a ruse, concocted so that he could go back and have his birth records sealed. (You see, he's stuck on this debunked myth that Obama is not an American citizen.)

Let me tell Mr. Limbaugh something about real American grandparents and how much they mean to so many of us real Americans. I am fortunate to have 3 of my grandparents still on this Earth with me, not just because they are the most loving and amazing humans I know, but because I am blessed to see them witness this day. Born in rural Louisiana before electricity, TV, indoor plumbing, and having the right to vote, today they all cast a ballot in favor of another black person for President of the United States.

My father's mother, who turned 85 two days ago, after not being allowed to go to the front of the early voting line in her wheelchair, simply went back today to cast her vote. My mother's 83 and 89 year-old parents arrived at their polling place at 5:55AM to patiently wait, a cane and a walker between the two of them, for an hour to cast their votes. I also never heard my grandfather utter one syllable of regret about having to fight in World War II only to return to a country where he had to stand in the back of the bus and drink from dirty water fountains. His wife, who could have passed for white, did not hesitate to correct white people who told her she didn't have to wait in the colored waiting rooms. She was black she would tell them. My other grandmother never complained about working as a housekeeper for white families until the age of 75, well after she began suffering the pain of osteoarthritis. And during all this, these great Americans nurtured and supported and helped raised their grandchildren and great-grandchildren after raising 19 children (between the four of them) and sending those children on to college and law school and graduate school even though they themselves had little money and not a one attended school beyond the 8th grade.

Because of them, I have never been so happy to stand in line to vote. Without them, I would never have been so happy -- period. So today is for you Toot. Today is for you Ernest (rest in peace) and Audrey. Today is no one's but yours, Eddie and Marina.

UPDATED -- Yes, Rev. Wright Was (Mostly) Right Too

Minute 4:00 is where you should start if you're short on time. I can't embed it but you can see it at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Al_y3g77ZsA


Big Man over at Raving Black Lunatic wrote about a related racial aspect to McCain's VP pick. I highly recommend reading it.

All of America is questioning Palin's suitability to perform as Vice President. For White Americans, such criticism probably has nothing to do with them personally. Black Americans, however, are taking the fact that she made it this far a bit personally. Call it playing the race card if you must. I just call it like I see it.

As does my friend, and today's co-blogger, Tamiya:

I have to agree. So often we are taught to "code switch," speak one way with your friends and family, but another way in business and more formal settings. When did it become appropriate to relax that, ESPECIALLY in a Vice Presidential Debate?

This weekend on CNN some panel members made an excellent point: since when did we want the "common man" running the government? We have always expected the President and VP to be better than the common man, smarter than the common man. I mean really, if I'm smarter than those two (which currently I am), why the heck would I look to them for leadership? I can just run myself. Who needs government?

The more I watch her, the more disgusted I become. She is such a farce, and to think that White people are willing to vote for this man and his idiotic running mate because of their skin color. OOOOOH it burns me up!

On The Road Again

Like nearly 2 million fellow Louisianians, I participated our new age tradition of getting the hell out of dodge before Gustav before completing a few minor rituals that accompany getting ready for storms:

• Hitting at least 5 stores to stock up on beer, liquor, food, water, batteries, cat food, cat litter, paper towels, styrofoam ice chests, medicine, beer, liquor, heavy duty gloves for post-storm clean up, flashlights, beer, liquor, transmission fluid, motor oil, beer, and liquor
• Spending about 4 hours on the Internet and phone with 3 relatives and 4 rental car companies and 1 bank executive figuring out how my non-driving, non-credit-card-owning grandparents could rent a car for them and a relative willing to drive them in a day and age when apparently good ole American cash is no longer good enough for conducting good ole American lifesaving business
• 2 hours on the phone and Internet trying to find a hotel that takes pets
• Washing 4 loads of laundry and packing some of it (hey, I was without a dryer for a few weeks so I was a bit behind, OK?!)
• Trying not to get too stressed out
• Helping a friend board up windows and move stuff out of her basement
• 2 trips to the gas station
• Checking the weather forecasts 40-50 times a day
• Securing a few outdoor items to keep them from flying away
• Planning my contraflow evacuation route and devising alternate routes to avoid that pesky problem of ending up in Florida instead of Texas
• Accepting that I'd be driving to Texas without that much needed front end alignment after pulling up to Firestone and not even being able to find a parking spot
• Gathering up papers needed to work on a manuscript due August 30th (LOL-- yeah like THAT happened)
• Backing up important computer files on my flash drive
• Checking in with relatives and friends to find out if, when they were leaving and devising alternate plans of communication for when cell phones would inevitably become useless
• Washing the dishes in the sink so they wouldn't mold and smell up the place
• Taking out all the trash in the house
• Throwing away all food in the fridge that would spoil after losing electricity
  
• Packing the car at 4:30AM with part of my stockpile detailed in bullet #1, important briefcase of important papers already packed and ready to go at moment's notice, shrimp boots I believe are given to every male born in south Louisiana at birth, first aid kit, CDs for the drive (even though I know I'm going to listen to news radio damn near the whole way), family photos that post-Katrina wisdom dictates are no longer safe left at home on top of an 8-foot high bookshelf, strategically placed cat food, water, litter, & cat toys (before realizing my cats were planning a hunger-drinking-pooping-playing strike to protest the interruption of their livelihoods);
  
• Helping the friend I tailed to Shreveport pack her car at 6AM; aaaaaand...
• Playing that fun game with my employer of Do I Have to Go to Work? When Do I Need to be Back? How will I know I need to be back? Hell, I Just Hope to Have a Damn Job a Week from Today
  

You know, it's quite amazing there aren't more tragedies on the road when 2 million sleep deprived people are driving for their lives. Then again, who had the energy for road rage?

Once I settled into my comfortable, spacious hotel room in Dallas (ever thankful and knowledgeable of the fact that many of us were living without that luxury and reminiscing on my own lack of such accommodations during Katrina), I realized that I needed this vacation. Gee, I wonder why.

One thing about disasters is that they do bring us together. Especially when Louisianians outnumber Texans on Texas highways and essentially commandeer their hotels for a week or 4. I imagine the same applied in every state below the Mason-Dixon line and east of the Rockies. Prompted by my formidable friend who runs New Orleans: A Labor of Love (still bringing folks here to rebuild from Katrina, by the way) to get off my ass and do something while in exile, here are a few pics of fellow citizens I got to know while away. I don't even know the last names of these families, yet I'm still thinking of them and hoping & praying that things work out for the best for them.

Algiers, Avondale, & Harvey, Louisiana

Cut Off, Louisiana (a.k.a. down da bah-yoh)

Church Point, Louisiana (outside of Lafayette)

Beau-Barack & Bella-Michelle hanging out in Dallas, TX during Gustav

Cats don't much care for evacuating either

What? Westbank, what?

I'm doing my part to make up for the local media's shitty coverage of the massive flooding that occurred on the Westbank yesterday. Terrytown*** seems to have gotten whacked hardest. These are shots taken on my parents' street in Terrytown.***





(Above) From my parents' front door. Moms really stepped up to fill the void left by all the news crews "on location" at the Jazz Fest (beer tent).






umm, NO, I'm not cheating and re-posting from an old blog. You're probably just thinking of this.


***(To answer thousands of eastbankers: Terrytown is basically Gretna, but legally part of unincorporated Jeffersion Parish. It borders Algiers and is closer to the CBD than most of eastbank. Please, take as much time as you need to for the shock to subside, especially the ones who've ever waited until the cheaper night long distance rates kicked in before calling someone on the Westbank).

Like a Good (and Drunk) Neighbor at Your Daughter's Wedding Reception, We'll Ruin Your Dreams

Maybe this should be State Farm's new slogan since the cost of 2-4 years of homeowners' insurance now rivals the average cost of American weddings.

The average wedding in America, according to Bride's Magazine, costs $19,000.

Stationery, $374.

Bouquets and other flowers, $775.

Photography, videography, $1,253.

Wedding favors, $240.

The music, $745.

Clergy and church, $248.

Limo rental, $427.

Attendant's gifts, $299.

Wedding rings, $1,000.

Engagement ring, $2,982.

Rehearsal dinner, $762.

Bride's wedding dress, $790.

Bride's headpiece and veil, $150.

Bride's attendant's apparel (if you have 5), $720.

Mother of the bride apparel, $198.

Groom's formal wear (rented), $100.

Formal wear for ushers and best man (if you have 5) rented, $400.

Reception for 186 guests (which is the average attendance at a wedding), $7,246.

This comes to a grand total of $18,874.

I wonder what else price-gouging insurance premiums are robbing us of. For the many families who can't afford $19,000 weddings, I imagine they're having to choose between shelter and much more basic provisions.